Automatic Eater

Sunday February 8 recap

2009-02-08T17:44:00.000-08:00

I did 5 miles this morning and was wiped for the rest of the day. Stayed on point but ate all my APs. This is the 2nd week I've done 5 miles on Sunday and both days I'm ravenous and exhausted the rest of the day. I truly hope this starts to get less exhausting or what's going to happen when I have to do 10 or 13 miles to get ready for the half marathon.

Of course part of the exhaustion could be due to lack of caffeine. That's right, my first full day without a diet pepsi in a very very long time. No headache which was good but man was I jonesing for one. This part I know gets easier!

Embracing Hard is Hard!!

2009-02-07T17:26:00.000-08:00

Last week I started out raring to go. I was taking names and kicking ass. By Wednesday the scale had not budged, well that's not true it just budged up instead of down. And I got slack. All because of a stupid number. In the end I still managed to lose 0.4 this week but I'm angry at myself because it could have easily been 1.4 had I stuck to my goals. This week, the scale is getting put away and I'm not stepping on again until next Saturday at my meeting. I'm going to embrace hard again, stay on point, get in my workouts and trust the plan.

From my previous post:

1. I did this workout 2x last week. I'm aiming for 3 this week. I love it because it's challenging and it's set up in a way that I can continue to alter it slightly to keep it challenging for quite some time. Also, it's quick and I can break it up throughout the day if I need to.

2. Embracing hard- it kills me to not weigh myself daily. But I know this is the healthy way to do it. I will snack and make not the best choices as long as I continue to see good numbers on the scale each day. STOOOPID!!!

3. I drank diet soda every day this week. I know BOOOOO. I have a real hard time saying no when it's in the house. Today I drank the last can and have no money to buy more until Friday. My ultimate goal is to have one small bottle a week when I get groceries. There have been other times in my life when I did this so I know it's possible. But I pity my husband and daughter for the next few days. There will definitely be some Tylenol consumed, I get wicked withdrawal headaches.

4. Last Sunday I ran 5 miles and felt awesome. Monday I was aiming for a faster 3 miles and just felt horribly sluggish. Then I proceeded to not do another run the entire week. DOH! Not going to cut it if I want to do 13.1 miles in October. Tomorrow is another 5 miler and I am committing to doing at least 4 runs this week.

My goal loss for next week is 1.6 pounds. I really want that 5 pound star LOL.

Bloggy (and non bloggy) Inspiration

2009-01-31T15:22:00.001-08:00

I've had a few things that are really sticking with me this week from blogs and magazines.

1. In reading Runner's World, they had a 15 strength workout using nothing but a stability ball. I've been thinking I need to get back to weight training for months now but haven't had the energy to work out a plan. So I tore this out and started it today. It's tough enough to feel like a challenge but in 4-6 weeks I'll be ready to move on to something more challenging and will hopefully be ready to plan something more in depth.

2. Embracing hard - A cake for a wife blogged about this and it really kind of stuck. I think it did for a lot of people, lots of blogging about it this week LOL. And it's so true. Very often I call it in as Jillian would say and that just isn't going to cut it if I want to reach my goals.

3. I Quit...Again discussing a Month to live. I've been wanting to cut the soda out but having a really hard time with it. This post made me go HMMMMMM. I could probably do this for a week. So today is my last day for soda. Tomorrow I give it up for a week. Hopefully that will be enough to give it up for good, except for the occasional one.

4. My sister wants us to do a half marathon in October. I want to do a half marathon in October and my mother is contemplating doing it as well. Perhaps even my father and youngest sister. That just sounds really cool to me, a family event!!! But it means a lot of work given my propensity for injury.

I'm hoping that these motivational bits will keep me pushing for the next couple of weeks. I'm aiming for my 10% by the end of February - that's 5 pounds and totally doable!!!

Weigh In

2009-01-31T04:57:00.000-08:00

Well I didn't lose the 2.6 but I did lose 0.6 Putting me at a solid 13 pounds total since I started WW in August.

Weigh In

2009-01-25T04:41:00.001-08:00

It was awesome this week. Down 3 pounds!!!! I'm aiming for down another 2.5 for next week to hit 15 pounds total and get another 5 pound star.

Plus I've been tagged by Mary Beth over at Boo Bear's Place Seven Random Facts about me.

1. I have a degree in Psychology but work as an interior decorator.

2. I HATE doing dishes but love doing laundry.

3. If I could hibernate all winter I would, but I choose to live in a place where you can count on at least a week or two of -40 degree weather during every 5 month winter we have.

4. I hate wearing shoes and socks.

5. I love going to the movies by myself.

6. My daughter was 8 weeks old at my wedding, which was a full wedding with 150 guests.

7. My ideal afternoon would be spent curled up on the sofa or in bed devouring a book from beginning to end.

I'm supposed to tag some more people too. But instead I'm just going to throw it out there to anyone who might be reading. I'd love to learn more about all of you.

A Great Week!!

2009-01-23T16:45:00.001-08:00

It really has been a great week. I've only used 13 of my flex points. I got workouts in, I tracked everything. And I've lost weight, how much will come tomorrow.

But I realized that there are areas for improvement so goals for the upcoming week is to meet my fruit/veggie minimums this week, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Last Tuesday

2009-01-20T18:27:00.000-08:00

I ha used up all of my flex points and was still going strong. This week with my new accountability I have used up 4 of my flex points. And I feel fine Not all that tempted by junk food. I'm so happy this is working even a little bit. And I can't wait to weigh in on Saturday.

It's working!!!!!

2009-01-19T10:31:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I was out at a flea market almost the whole day (as a vendor) and I could see the bags of chips on the wall across the way and boy were they calling to me. But I resisted and pulled out my apple and peanut butter sandwhich that I brought with me. Last week I wouldn't have even bothered bringing the lunch. Instead I stayed within my budgeted points for the day even with a nibbly evening.

Today my belly has been growling non stop it seems but I have been sticking to the snacks I brought and although the chocolate has whispered my name a few times, it hasn't been screaming and I've been able to drown it out.

I'm so glad I figured out the problem and found a solution!!

ACCOUNTABILITY

2009-01-17T10:40:00.000-08:00

I never quite realized how much I need outside intervention to keep me focused on goals. It's really quite sad actually. I thought that weighing in every week would keep me on track throughout the week. Who wants their WW leader seeing a gain on the scale? Worked for a few weeks and 10 pounds but then it didn't seem to matter anymore.

I thought buying the 3 month tracker and writing down everything that crossed my lips would help. NOPE. Didn't keep me from eating chocolate bars (and not the regular sized ones), chips and going over my points and using up my flex points by Tuesday (week runs Sat-Sun).

Today I weighed in +1.6 pounds. Exactly what I was down last week. I expected it and it wasn't nearly disappointing enough. But as I sat through the meeting I wondered what would help me get focused on this journey and realized that I need someone looking over my shoulder. So I'm going to work with my strengths and build up my weaknesses. I asked my leader if she would look at my tracker every week and give me a little kick in the pants if I'm falling off track. And I think that is what will get me going.

Also, I want to be a little more present in the BLBE so I'm saying right here, right now that I vow to comment on at least one of Team Lynne's member blogs per day. That's a big commitment from someone trying to cut out a lot of her internet time :)

Next week you'll hear me shouting from the rooftops about my fantastic loss. Off to make some soup for my lunches this week!

Not a great couple of days

2009-01-14T15:17:00.001-08:00

for staying in my points but I have been tracking everything whether it's pretty or not.

3 month tracker

2009-01-11T05:32:00.000-08:00

Last night I sat down with my 3 month tracker to take a look at everything it offers. It's actually a pretty cool tool. Definitely has more than the regular weekly trackers, tracking your weightloss in graph format and boy do I love a graph LOL.

It's still set up in weeks, so I dated everyday for this week and am determined to stay on track with it. I'm hoping at the very least this will show me the difference in my loss between weeks where I tracked and weeks that I didn't.

Weigh in

2009-01-10T08:07:00.000-08:00

I weighed in this morning down 1.6. I'm pretty pleased with that. I was hoping to be down 2 but I didn't track and I indulged a bit more than I should have. I'm not sure what's holding me back from tracking. I know that I do better when I track and I don't really like to write down things I "shouldn't" be eating. So if I have a "bad" snack I stop tracking for the day. I really need to get back in the habit of tracking so today I bought a 3 month tracker in the hopes that it will help.

Progress

2009-01-06T16:11:00.000-08:00

OK so I can't say that I've been 100% on avoiding the morning snacks but I can say that I have been better overall and the goal has made me much more conscious of my snacks.

In the pursuit of my goal of dropping 2 pounds this week I submit this plan for the rest of the evening: Nothing else to eat. I had a good filling dinner, a post dinner snack and a cup of hot cocoa. There is nothing else I need besides water. To ensure this, I'm off to brush my teeth. So there. :)

Resolutions...

2009-01-04T09:31:00.000-08:00

Everyone has made at least one of those grand sweeping New Years Resolutions.

I'm going to lose 50 pounds.
I'm going to exercise an hour every day.
I'm never going to eat junk food again.

I've made a few myself. Fortunately I've learned a few things and now set realistic goals instead of sweeping resolutions. This year is no exception. I have financial goals, work goals, home goals and of course health and fitness goals. But since this is a weight loss blog I'll only post those.

1. Reach my goal weight. This is only 19 pounds away and so I think a year is a totally reasonable time frame to achieve this.
2. Run a 5K this summer in under 30 minutes. I can do the 30 minutes right now on the treadmill so again a totally doable goal if I stick with my workouts.
3. Get to the point where I'm only having "treats" once or twice a week. But I'm tackling this slowly. For January the goal is to limit my morning snack to fruits and veggies. In February, it will be to not have "treats" before 3pm. And so on until I meet my goal.

I'm pretty pleased with this but definitely open to feedback.

Another one bites the dust

2008-12-06T08:04:00.000-08:00

Another pound down in the journey. Taking it one week and one pound at a time through the holidays but feeling confident so far.

Goal accomplished

2008-12-05T15:52:00.000-08:00

Well, one at least. Tonight I wanted to push myself on the treadmill so I thought I'd aim for averaging 10 minutes per mile. Was pretty sure I couldn't do 6mph the whole way so did 1/2 mile intervals. 5.5 mph, 6 mph and 6.5 mph. Needed to stop for 2 water breaks but still feel pretty awesome about the workout on the whole.

Tomorrow morning weigh in. Aiming for a pound but feeling uncertain...

Friday update

2008-11-28T16:55:00.000-08:00

Made some poor choices while I was out running errands today. But made the good choice of going for my run tonight even though I REALLY did not want to.

Oh and weighed in this morning down 1 pound. A little surprised but happy with that number and hoping to hit a pound a week for the next little bit.

2008-11-27T14:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I made all good choices.

Breakfast: Oatmeal with brown sugar (out of blueberries)
Snack: yogurt w/ almonds and an apple
Lunch: chicken wrap
Snack: 100 calorie pack
Dinner: grilled cheese (not the greatest but I've been craving them big time)
Snack : granola bar

And I went for a good hard run.

Today I started the day out planning on making good choices again and did pretty good except for one.

Breakfast: oatmeal with brown sugar
Snack: granola bar
Lunch: salad w/ chicken and 100 cal pack
Snack: an unfortunate incident with butter tarts
Dinner: crockpot chicken and steamed veggies
Snack: probably pudding with cool whip.

I may try to go down for a run but that will all depend on how well DD goes to bed tonight.

Change in Perspective

2008-11-26T08:04:00.000-08:00

So for the last little bit I've been using the "just for today" excuse.

"Just for today I'll have that chocolate bar"
"Just for today I'll have that bag of chips"
"Just for today I'll eat whatever I want"

So this morning when this hit me I thought "Well just for today I'll make the right choices all day long"

It's lunchtime and so far, so good.

Tuesday

2008-11-25T15:23:00.000-08:00

Sucked out today. Here's what I ate

Breakfast: Oatmeal with yogurt and berries
Snack : granola bar and 100 calorie pack
Lunch: Salad with chicken
Snack: Kitkat bar
Dinner: grilled cheese
Snack: Doritos.

I'm just in this space where it seems so hard to make the right choice and I'm just not sure how to get out of this funk. Although continuing to post here and hopefully have y'all kick my butt should help. I'm fairly sure that if I had remembered I was posting my eats on here I wouldn't have had the Doritos at least. I think part of my indulging might be because I'm just not inspired by my meals. I look at Angie's healthy meals and they look so yummy and my salad just looks blah.

Well that sucked

2008-11-24T11:56:00.001-08:00

I totally fell away from the program. Stopped counting points, stopped staying for meetings and the pounds started creeping up again. Last week I even skipped weighing in thinking that I could get it back on track for this week and avoid seeing the number on the scale (or rather having others see the number on the scale).

I think the worst of it is that instead of just starting to track my points again, I started contemplating doing some of the quick loss plans (ie cutting out carbs or sugars) in the hopes of getting back to that number. Silly, silly Leigh Anne. When I look back at the times I've been successful with weight loss, it's been through consistent tracking of my calories/points. So that's where I need to start again. Gonna pull out my week 1 booklet and review the CORE foods and try to focus on them.

And I NEED to get back to meetings again. I even attempted to go this morning only to learn that they have changed their hours/meeting schedule and the new schedule is really not working with my/DH's schedule but we'll have to work around it for now. I am also going to start posting my meals on here each day as well, in all it's glory, the good, the bad and the ugly (and boy has there been a lot of ugly up in here lately).

Week 7 Weigh in

2008-11-05T14:53:00.000-08:00

According to my scale I am down the pound I gained last week and another pound on top of that. According to WW scale I lost the 3.4 pounds I gained last week. Either way I"m satisfied but next week I WILL lose 1.4 and hit the 15 pound lost mark.

November 1st goal evaluation

2008-11-02T16:09:00.000-08:00

I decided at the beginning of this challenge to update my progress on the first of each month so here goes.

Weight Start 181 Current 175 Goal 160
Waist Start 36.5 Current 35 Goal 33
Hips Start 42 Current 41 Goal 38
Thigh Start 25.5 Current 25 Goal 23
Arm Start 13 Current 12.5 Goal 12

3 mile time Start 36 min Current 32 min Goal 33 min
*****I've decided to modify this and aim for a 6mph pace so 30 min*****

Push ups Start 12 Current 16 Goal 25

So it appears I'm making some good progress and should meet my fitness goals even if I don't meet my weight goals.

I wonder...

2008-11-02T09:14:00.001-08:00

...what would happen if I stayed within points every day of November (but 2 that have issues surrounding them)? Let's find out shall we?

Week 6 Weigh In

2008-10-29T15:23:00.000-07:00

But first a little bit about my week. I did not track my points and I had a few indulgences during the week. I missed one of my runs. And then on Friday I went away with a girlfriend. There were nachos, onion rings, fries, chocolate, chips and candy. What bothers me most is not that I indulged in these but that numerous times I indulged far beyond that full feeling and well into the BLAH feeling.

I returned home Saturday night and between then an my weighin I kept strictly to my points and avoided the salt foods trying to reduce the water I'm sure I retained over the weekend. Sunday I made sure to get in my run. And on Monday morning I was up 1 pound (from the previous week weighing in at home). I can live with that.

Except when I weighed in at WW I was up 3.4 from my previous WW weigh in. Totally shocked me and blew me away. And to top it off, I didn't feel like I was up 3.4 pounds. My clothes were feeling as loose as always, if not looser. I was feeling trim and strong and good. And while I know this will come off as sounding like an excuse but I think there was a problem with the WW scale. The leader even said that she hadn't seen that many gains at one meeting in months.

It really bothered me for the rest of the night but then I thought, so what. If the scale is wrong, that doesn't mean I can't get right back into the zone. If the scale is wrong that shouldn't impact the way I feel about my efforts and the way I feel about the changes in my body.

So yesterday and today I tracked my points. Sunday I ran 3 miles at between 5.5 and 6 mph with a 1/4 mile warm up and cool down (do this at every workout). Last night I ran 2 miles between 5.5 and 6.8 mph. Then I did pushups, abs and some back work on the stability ball. Tonight I ran 4 miles at 5.5 mph. Tomorrow my plan is to push myself to do 1 mile at 7mph. Saturday I'm going to try 3 miles at 5.8 mph and we'll see what I feel like on Sunday.

I want to lose everything I gained and another pound this week.

Week 5 Weigh In

2008-10-21T12:29:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks I have gone to weigh in, completely prepared to have lost little to nothing, and wouldn't have been surprised if I had gained. Last week I lost 1.4 and this week 1.8. Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased to see the scale moving down but I also know that I haven't been tracking and there have been more than a few indiscretions over those two weeks, not to mention Thanksgiving and a birthday party. I know it's only a matter of time before it all catches up and I see a big gain. So this week it's back to journaling my points and making a solid effort to following the plan so the momentum continues in the right direction instead of swinging in the other direction.

Thinking of core

2008-10-17T15:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't really been tracking points the past few weeks since I figured out what I normally eat in the run of a day and have been sticking to just that. It's been working well but it gets a little tricky when I have an extra treat or dinner is an out of the ordinary. So I'm thinking it might be worthwhile switching over to core and focusing on the whole not eating extra if I'm not hungry. Anyone have any opinions on the matter?

Becoming a Runner

2008-10-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have attempted being a runner several times in my life. During university I trained with the triathlon club and ran several times a week and hated it several times a week LOL. After a year of training with them I ran my first ever 5K race in 26 minutes. I stopped training with the club and didn't do much running on my own that I can remember.

6 years later I started losing some of my post university weight and started doing some running bits in my walking. Attempted the couch 2 5k program a few times. Then I got pregnant, had spotting early on and was restricted from exercise until 3 months in. And by then walking was a pretty good workout and all I was willing to risk until I knew the baby was good and ok.

2 months after my daughter was born I started the couch 2 5k program again and stuck with it. 4 months after beginning the program I ran the race for the cure in 36 minutes. One month after that we were preparing to move, winter arrived and I stopped running.

6 months later I got a gym membership and would do 1 to 3 miles a few times a week but not with any consistency and never faster than 5mph, usually there were plenty walking breaks tossed in. I didn't consider myself a runner, I just ran in a vain attempt to lose weight without altering my food intake at all.

In January of this year my sister and I decided to run a marathon to celebrate my 30th birthday. I set up a realistic training program and got to it. 5mph was my standard pace and it seemed difficult, brutal on some days. Trying to go higher than that was a guarantee of quitting before my miles were up. Unfortunately several months in I started having knee pain, my doctor sent me to physiotherapy and they strongly recommended I seriously cut back both my mileage and my speed. So the marathon was put on the backburner and I plodded along at 4.7 mph for a few months.

My knee started feeling better. I joined WW and began dropping some weight. I started BLBE and set some goals for my running. I wanted to be able to run 3 miles in 33 minutes by Christmas; 30 minutes by the summer. It seemed like a reasonable but challenging goal as I seemed to be struggling to hit 36 minutes most runs. But I started pushing myself.

I changed my workout mindset from having to finish 3 miles to running for 30 minutes. I started doing some intervals. 5.2 for 2 min, 5.4 for 2 min, 5.6 for 2 min, 5.8 for 2 min, 6.0 for 2min and then over again. That was pretty doable but a pain in the butt to keep looking at the clock. LOL. So I did 5.5 for 5min and 6.0 for 5 min for the 30 min. When I realized that I was pretty close to 3 miles at the end of 30 minutes I kept going to see how long it took to hit 3 miles. And it was just under 33 minutes.

I've been doing this run for the past 6 runs, never taking longer than 33 minutes to finish my 3 miles. And I've come to the conclusion that it wasn't my physical ability holding me back from running faster but my mental ability. The marathon we were supposed to run is this coming weekend and while there is a tinge of disappointment that I am not running this year mostly I am glad that I had the opportunity to learn that I can enjoy running. And now I'm thinking I could do a 30 minute 5k by Christmas and perhaps beat my 26 minute 5k by the summer........

Week 4 Weigh In

2008-10-14T15:37:00.000-07:00

This was a really weird week. I was taking names and kicking butt all week. Then on Friday I was at home all day and wasn't making the healthiest choices even though I stayed in my points. On Saturday there was an incident with a Twix bar and more pizza than I needed at dinner. Sunday I got up early to make sure and get in a run before my Thanksgiving dinner. But I did well. Had one plate of the things I really love and a piece of pie for dessert. Monday I went to a birthday party and had a piece of cake and too many handfuls of party mix. Then went home and got a run in.

I knew the runs would help counteract some of the indulgences but I was really going into weigh in with the goal of losing something. 1/2 a pound would have thrilled me. So you can imagine my shock when I lost 1.4. Not sure why or how but I'm taking it and glad to have a week without special events to taunt me.

And on the NSV front, yesterday I tried on my prepregnancy pants (remember that my DD is 2 1/2?). I haven't worn them since I was about 9 weeks pregnant. Anyway, I could fit into them all!!! There was far too much muffin top for me to feel comfortable wearing them but they buttoned and fit great on the ass and legs. So another 5 pounds or so should make them wearable. This was so thrilling for me!!!!

Week 3 weigh in

2008-10-08T06:33:00.000-07:00

My week was not good as explained in my previous posts and walking into my meeting I was seriously just hoping that I would lose something, anything. My husband told me to lose my purse hardeeharhar.

I lost 0.2 pounds.

And was okay with it. Then I started thinking that even if I only lost 0.2 pounds every week from now until whenever at least I would be moving towards my goal instead of away from it. And then I gave myself a mental slap and said "CUT IT OUT!" This challenge is about getting as close to the goal as possible with hard core work for a short period of time.

I took a look at my eating and realized that I am eating a ton of my points through the day and ending up with 4 or 5 points for dinner and an evening snack. Meaning I was using WPA points in the evening. So I decided that 8 points would be a good amount for dinner and evening snack. Subtracted breakfast points and lunch points and had 7 points left over for snacks through the day. Now I only bring that many points and I don't have to worry about counting anything except dinner. Such a weight off my shoulders and it's working well so far. I'm hoping for a good week, Thanksgiving and all!!

Week/weekend recap

2008-10-06T02:47:00.000-07:00

But first a vent. Intentionally washed my sports bras yesterday so I could go for a run this morning. Asked DH to toss them in the dryer last night and went off to bed. Dragged myself out of bed this morning which was a battle and went down to find that he had indeed tossed them in the dryer and then went right back upstairs without turning the dryer on!!!!! So annoyed. But I was up and dressed so I threw on a tank with built in bra and went for a 20 minute walk followed by squats and abs. Not what I had hoped but better than nothing

Well, not a good week up in here foodwise. Used all my WPA in silly ways. But I got in my four runs and according to the scale at home this morning I am down 1 pound. We'll see what the WW scale says tonight. I also didn't do the strength training I had planned on doing and have absolutely no good reason for it. On the plus side I had an amazing run yesterday. Ran 3 miles in just under 33 minutes which was one of my big goals for this challenge. It was doubly satisfying in that I had completely given up on going for a run at all but decided to go at the last minute YAY ME!!

But I'm leaving last week where it is and making some new goals for this coming week which will include Thanksgiving dinner!!!!

Get my four runs in.
Make a plan for Thanksgiving dinner that involves small servings of the things I love the most about turkey dinner.
STRENGTH TRAIN!!!

Help please

2008-10-03T16:57:00.000-07:00

Someone shed some perspective on the situation. One bowl full of chips is not a reason to throw in the towel. I went for a run and have no desire to eat any more chips. In fact the thought of eating more chips kind of make my tummy roll over. It's not the end of the road, just a blip on the radar and not a very good one. Anyone? Please!

Regroup and Refocus (or It's a slippery slope)

2008-10-03T08:43:00.000-07:00

Tuesday and Wednesday night DD was up through the night throwing tantrums. As a result I didn't get up to go for a run Wednesday or Thursday morning. Wednesday was fine, I'll just use it as my rest day. Thursday I made arrangements with DH to go as soon as we got home from work so I wouldn't be too tired. Except exhaustion hit around 3 pm and I felt lucky to keep my eyes open long enough to make it through the remainder of the work day and bedtime routine.

To add insult to injury I had the major nibbles on Thursday and indulged. Not just a regular Twix bar but a jumbo twix bar!!!!! We had meatball subs for dinner and I used a wrap instead of a bun and only had a few fries but nibbled on meatballs past my satiated point.

It's amazing how these 2 simple days had me ready to throw in the towel last night. But I regrouped and started today fresh. One day of poor eating choices and 2 days working out is not the end of the world and easy enough to bounce back from.

I'm going for a run tonight come hell or high water and will get in my fourth tomorrow. It completely throws off all my weekend plans but right now my fitness takes priority! And I am resisting the chocolate today although it is calling my name (must be coming up to that time of the month). I brought lots of low point healthy nibbling options to allow me to feel I can eat all day without going over my points.

Thanks for all the Woohoos on my last point. I'm determined to have more positive news after Monday night's weighin.

Weigh In Week 2

2008-09-30T18:09:00.000-07:00

Good weigh in this week. Down 2.4 which puts me over the 10 pound mark and brings me under 180. So happy!!!! It was a good week and this week is going to rock too.

The Mind Games We Play

2008-09-30T05:11:00.000-07:00

Clothes were set aside. Ipod was ready. In bed at a decent hour. DD cooperated by sleeping throught the night. Alarm went off. I hit snooze. Alarm went off. I hit snooze. Had this conversation with myself.

Need to get up and go for run.
But I just ran 12 hours ago, surely I can skip today.
If I skip today I have to run the next 2 days straight to meet my goal.
Well that's OK I can do that.
What if DD has rough nights.
Today is weigh in, this is like last chance workout.
But I just ran yesterday (with a whine in my voice)
Is that DD moving around?
Well if I'm going to be up I might as well be running.

So off I went. And although I had to cut it short due to stomach issues, it is done for the day and one more finished for the week.

The Best Laid Plans

2008-09-29T15:52:00.000-07:00

This always happens. Last night I was super motivated to get up and work out this morning. Set out my workout clothes. Went to bed at a decent hour and set my alarm. Then at 1:30 am DD woke up and then the cat woke up and started going psycho. By the time I got back to sleep it was closer to 2:30 and there was just no way I was getting up at 5:30.

But I felt confident that I could get in a workout tonight since it is DH's night to do bedtime routine. Even better, I finished work early and was able to fit my run in before dinner. Plus I did squats throughout the day during bathroom breaks LOL. All that's left is some pushups and situps maybe. Stayed in my points but did use my AP points. Tomorrow is weigh in. Hoping for a loss.

Week/weekend recap

2008-09-28T14:51:00.001-07:00

Well the week really was a success all in all. Friday and Saturday I went a little of course. There were more jujubes, a planned chocolate indulgence on Friday night and a run in with Timbits on Saturday. DD and I were on our way to pick up DH from the airport and picked up a snack pack on the way. I had enough points to indulge in one and that was the plan. 6 timbits later I had used up 11 WPA points!!!! And really, they aren't all that good. Certainly not as good as the chocolate on Friday. Now I know, don't even bother having the one. Anyway I'm still within my WPA and I shouldn't need them before weigh in on Tuesday.

I did get my 4th run in on Saturday while DD napped. Todays workout was an hour of raking, squats, leg lifts, ab work and pushups. Hurricane Kyle is supposed to bring a bunch of rain and wind overnight but I'm going to plan on a morning run and see what the weather is when I wake up. If the weather is crappy I'll do Jillian Michaels 30 day shred.

Goals for the week:

Use less than 15 WPA (unless true hunger is involved).
4 runs
some sort of strength training every day (pushups, squats, abs, etc)

Today's journal

2008-09-25T16:21:00.001-07:00

oooops forgot to post my food journal for yesterday. I was hungry all day and had some major carb cravings but managed to keep it in check and only used to WPA points.

Today was a good day. I just did pushups, squats, and sit ups as a workout so I still have to get one more run in by Saturday but I know I can do it. Just trying to do something physical every day.

Breakfast: oatmeal, yogurt and berries 4pts
Snacks: granola bar, apple 3 pts
Lunch: salad with dressing and chicken 4 pts
Snacks: 100 cal pack, yogurt, almonds 4 pts
Slip: jujubes 5 pts
Dinner: Chicken and Broccoli 2 pts
Snack: FF pudding with cool whip 2 pts

Total: 24 pts

So I know the jujubes weren't the greatest choice and I should have stuck with the banana I packed but at least I tracked them, and stopped at a handful so I didn't even go over my daily points. I call that success!!!

Biggest Loser recap

2008-09-24T07:08:00.001-07:00

Well, probably not so much a recap as my thoughts and opinions on the show. To start with, I was happy with the choice to vote the grey team off overall. I think Jerry on the yellow team would have much less success out on his own the Tom and LT did.

2. I think my favorite part of every show is at the end where they show the success so far of the team voted off. It's like a mini final each week!

3. I was so freaking pissed off at the orange? team. After grey team kept them they turned around and went completely against their word. Sooooooo not cool.

4. It's interesting to me how many of them are already wearing wraps/braces of some kind.

5. I don't know if I think it was awesome or scary to see Jerry on the treadmill with the oxygen hooked up to him. Awesome for him to be committed to getting healthy but super scary that it seems they are pushing him beyond what it healthy.

6. How do they do it? After a really kick ass workout I can barely walk the next day and those workouts only last 1-2 hours. These guys are coming from nothing and doing 6-8 hours of exercise per day and they walk normal and do it all over again the next day. Phenomenal!!

Anyone else have thoughts on the episode?

Weigh in and Food journal

2008-09-23T15:17:00.000-07:00

I weighed in tonight +0.4 Not a happy camper. Even though I knew last week was ROUGH I was hoping the last 3 days pulled it together enough to even it out at least. But I'm moving on. Hardcore serious from this point until Christmas. I WILL meet my goal!!!

I also didn't go for my run this morning but DH said he would do bedtime routine so I could get it in tonight before Biggest Loser is on. So no butt kicking required LOL.

Today's food

Breakfast: oatmeal, yogurt, berries 4 pts
Snacks : granola bar, 100 calorie pack 4 pts
Lunch : squash with meat sauce 4 pts
Snacks : carrots, yogurt, almonds, banana 4 pts
Dinner : 2 eggs with toast 6 pts

Total : 22 points

Today's journal

2008-09-22T14:57:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all the concern about my ankle It was actually fine by the time I got home and i was still able to do a few more running chunks. Just hurt like a SOB when I did it. Now my biggest concern is that I might have twisted my bum knee at the same time. It's been a little more sensitive today. We'll see how tomorrow morning goes.

I did great foodwise today. Didn't get any caramels and stuck to my 2 rules. Although waiting for my 2nd diet soda was NOT easy LOL.

Before running: granola bar 2 pts
Breakfast: oatmeal, yogurt, berries 4 pts
Snack: 100 cal pack, apple 3 pts
Lunch: spaghetti squash with meat sauce 4 pts
Snack: Granola bar 2 pts
yogurt with almonds 2 pts
Dinner: Chicken quesadilla 8 pts
Total: 25 pts

I'm pretty full right now but if I do get hungry I still have 4 AP to have a snack this evening. But I think I'll have a banana if I need to eat. For exercise I had my run, 3 set of 15 squats and I'm going to do a couple sets of pushups to exhaustion and possibly lunges

Plans for the week, new rules and the kindness of strangers

2008-09-22T05:04:00.000-07:00

I'm doing the single mom thing from Wednesday to Saturday this week which means I've had to adjust my workout plans. Usually I get up and go running 3 mornings during the week and then get in one run on the weekends. But since I won't be able to go for a run the whole second half of the week my plan is to run Sun, Mon, Tues, Wed. So far, so good although I really wanted to skip this morning. So I'm asking y'all to kick my butt if I skip one of the next two days. Wednesday will be the hardes after staying up to watch BL but it needs to happen.

The new rules are in part to help me with the challenge but also because I saw myself slipping. A few more diet sodas, a little less water. A few too many processed snacks and not enough fruit/veggies/wholesome foods. So the new rules:

1. If I want a soda there has to be 1 liter of water into me first. That goes for every soda I want. 3 sodas today? 3 liters of water first.

2. One processed snack during the day and one during the evening for now. Processed snacks for me are 100 cal packs, crackers, cookies, pudding. I am not considering my homemade granola bars or my yogurt processed.

This morning I left the house at 5:30 for a 3 mile run. About 2/3 of the way through I landed wrong on a stone and rolled my right ankle something good. Cursed for a few minutes then hobbled a few steps to test it out all the while wondering how long it would take me to hobble the rest of the way home. A car slowed on the other side of the road and offered me a lift home. She must have saw what happened and looped around. By that time I knew that I could at least walk if not run the rest of the way so I thanked her anyway, but I thought it was so nice of her to do that!!!

A food journal and positive choices

2008-09-21T16:10:00.001-07:00

Well it's only day one of BLBE and already it's having an impact on my choices. I didn't have a singe M&M out of the hubby's bag and I would always have 2 or 3, after all it's not like they are going to make a difference. And then after dinner I made granola bars and had one for my evening snack. When I was cutting them up to put away I seriously considered having another one. Normally I would say it is a healthy snack and I have the points left. I still thought that but today I said, actually I'm not hungry so why sabotage for nothing. Woohooo!

Breakfast: oatmeal, yogurt, 1/2 cup bluberries 4 pts
Lunch : 2 eggs, 2 pieces toast 6 pts
Snack : 100 cal pack, banana 4 pts
Dinner: Sausage and veggie stir fry 5 pts
1 cup ww pasta 3 pts
Snack : granola bar 2 pts

Total: 24 pts

Exercise: 40 min walk/run
3 sets 10 squats
3 sets of pushups to exhaustion
abwork
On top of that I did over 3 hours of housework and painting today. And I'm so happy that I didn't even have to use my activity points. That's amazing for me.

Biggest Loser Blog Edition

2008-09-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

I'm resurrecting this blog for my latest get real attempt at losing this weight. But for the first time in a long time I feel like this is the time. I joined WW 5 weeks ago and am down 8.2 pounds with 21 left to go to get to my minimum goal.

But I could feel myself starting to slip. Getting a bag of caramels and not counting the points cause "they're not real food, they're like gum or a mint" UHHHHHH NO!!!!! Or skipping several workouts in a row cause I was tire. Get over it already, you're always tired.

Then someone linked to Angie who is hosting a Biggest Loser contest and it just felt like the right thing to do. So here I am. Committed to hard core for the next 3 months. I know I can reach my goals if I stick with it for the whole three months.

So here's my starting point and my goals.

Starting Weight 181 Goal Weight 160
Waist 36.5 Goal 33
Hips 42 Goal 38
Thigh 25.5 Goal 23
Arm 13 Goal 12

And because this is never just about the weight or size for me, I'm throwing in some fitness goals.

3 mile time 36 min Goal 33 min
Pushups (full) 12 Goal 25

My weigh in day is on Tuesday but will change to Monday next week. I will take measurements and fitness tests on the first of each month. And I will create a sidebar as soon as I get DH to show me how :)

Let's get started!!!

Random Thoughts

2008-05-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

***i'm loving Fuji apples dipped in peanut butter

***I really should know by now that making cupcakes is not a good idea

***Work is seriously stressing me out and I don't know how to get out of it

***Run last night was awesome, today's was just okay

***I will complete the action hero workout today

***this video motivates me every time I watch it. I wanna be like Katie :)

Action Hero Workout

2008-05-05T17:24:00.000-07:00

**SLAP**

SNAP OUT OF IT GIRL!!!!

You've got goals and they aren't going to be reached with chocolate, soda and chips.

So now you know how my weekend went. I did do my 6 miles on Sunday and mostly running. Go me!!

Today Charlotte announced that the new experiment is
the action hero workout. Since I passes along the link I could hardly pass up the opportunity to participate. Tried one rep of each circuit tonight just to get a feel for it. Hard workout. But i have a few concerns about a couple of the exercises. Could definitely feel my knees twinging up. Going to take those exercises easily until I see how it goes.

Decided on a new goal today. I have a work outfit that I would love to wear comfortably this summer but the skirt is definitely not comfortable. I can zip it but it sits way higher than it should. If I get on the ball and figure out how to post a photo I'll take a before pic a la Glam

Clean Saturday

2008-05-03T05:13:00.000-07:00

oatmeal
homemade bran muffin
fruit (from a can but packed in water)
egg with whole wheat toast
apple with peanut butter
chicken casserole with tostitos sprinkled on top

then there was the incident with the min caramel filled cofee cakes at the grocery store. DD has gymnastics in the morning and we stopped to get groceries on the way home. I was starving and got pulled in. EEEEP!!! The tostitos weren't the cleanest but they were the multi grain ones and dinner filled me enough that I didn't need an evening snack.

Workout was just walking. I had a twinging back muscle that was quite painful when running so I just walked 45 minutes.

Weigh in day

2008-05-02T03:01:00.001-07:00

Down 2.2 pounds!!!!!! Gotta say I was kind of surprised by this given that I was PMSing this week and ate a lot of salty stuff (and sweet stuff). Plus I didn't do my workout last night. DD threw a major tantrum yesterday morning to the effect that we couldn't get her out the door. So DH stayed home with her and went in to work immediately when I got home. I was wiped by the time she went to bed.

Foodwise today: Don't even ask. A complete wash.

My challenge for the weekend is to eat as clean as possible. I feel so much better when I do but struggle to remember that when being stared down by a chocolate bar or KFC.

Not the best, not the worst

2008-05-01T16:54:00.000-07:00

That is how my day was. I'm lacking sticktoitiveness. Think I need some extra motivation. Gonna start posting my daily eating plans in the hopes that the thought of having to write it out here for all to see will keep me from eating a jumbo caramilk bar at 10 am.

UGH

2008-04-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

Not a great day for me. Lots of junky snacks, very little food with nutritional value, two sodas and if I'm lucky 1/2 my water. Writing it down and moving on. Tomorrow is a new day.

Last night's run SUCKED. Every step was a chore even at 5 mph. And I was thinking about not working out at all today. But then I remembered an article from coolrunning.com that said you should take as many walk breaks as you needed. Granted they were talking about long runs -- like 15-20 miles long but I figured doing my 4 miles today with a lot of walk breaks was better than none at all. So I did it. There was still more walking than jogging.....I think. I didn't really watch the clock or odometer at all. I wore my new running shoes which have been taking forever to break in. Wore them the whole time. And none of it was a chore or painful. I would even run a little longer because I knew I could stop whenever i wanted. Think I'm going to do things this way until I get my mojo back.

On a roll!!!

2008-04-29T12:08:00.000-07:00

Yeah I know it's only 3 posts but I'm feeling pretty good about that. Lots of my bloglines are taking part in the summer challenge so reading their posts remind me to post mine.

Yesterday I was not feeling the greatest. Not much of an appetite and really wiped. Luckily it was a rest day for exercise so I did just that. Fell a little short on my food but I'm a work in progress.

I'm definitely not hitting 100% on my goals of getting in all of my minimums before snacking but I'm definitely hitting a higher percentage than I have in a long long time. I am getting my water before hitting the soda, big improvement for me. And I'm thinking a lot more, instead of just mindlessly munching.

Tonight is a 3 mile run. Taking it as it comes.

Weekend

2008-04-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

All right, I almost completely forgot about writing an entry. The only reason I didn't is that Stephanie over at back in skinny jeans posted about weight loss blogging. Wonder how long it takes to get in the rhythm. Maybe it's the same as any other habit LOL 21 days.

Weekend was good. I usually eat nothing but crap all weekend long. I still ate some crap but also had all of my water and 6 servings of fruits/veggies on both days. An excellent weekend for me. Last night when I was going to be I had a bit of a tummy ache and my first thought was "Must have been all of the junk I ate today". And then I thought about it and realized I only had 2 small cookies and a small bowl of ice cream all day. Even decided against the chips I was craving most of the day.

Workout wise. Yesterday I did my longest run ever -- 6 miles. I've been having some knee problems that are significantly worse since I started doing my long runs outside and I wondered if it was from increasing my mileage or running outside. So I did 6 miles on the treadmill and the knees feel better this morning than they have the last 2 Mondays post long run. Is there a better way to ease into outdoor running. Should i start with 3 miles until that doesn't hurt? Any advice.

Leigh Anne

One last attempt

2008-04-26T05:22:00.000-07:00

Apparently I really suck at blogging. But I'm going to give it one last go.

I've been struggling with the whole weight loss thing for months now. Lots of automatic eating going on in my life for sure. Not only just nibbling through the day at home but eating 2 or 3 jumbo size chocolate bars in the run of a day. Drinking several diet pepsis and not nearly enough water. Wondering why I'm exhausted and run down, wondering why the weight won't come off even though I'm running 5 days a week.

So I did nothing different but journal my every bite for a week and I realized that I eat nothing but junk. No fruits, no veggies. The healthiest thing in my diet was my kashi for breakfast.

Then I went to the doctor for my annual check up and she asked me all sorts of questions about my lifestyle. One of them was about my diet and I totally lied and said I think I have a pretty balanced diet. What a load of hooey and I knew it. Then she mentioned Canada's Food Guide. It must have hit on something in me cause later on that day I printed out the guidelines and took a look. Then I made up a little notebook with checkboxes to keep track of my daily intake.

And since I know that I'm REALLY likely to binge if I eliminate anything I decided to not eliminate anything. My only rule was that I had to continue journaling what I ate, no matter what it was. And I had to meet the majority of my daily intake guidelines before having a treat like snack. And I had to have my 8 glasses of water before having a soda.

Then Carolyn started a summer challenge and I thought what perfect timing. I'm also going to try to blog the journey over the next 8 weeks. If I can't keep up then my blogging days will be over and I will be content reading all of the other awesome blogs on my bloglines.

Running in place

2008-01-15T12:29:00.000-08:00

I got on the scale this morning. Wasn't planning on doing that until Feb 1st but just had to see what the scale said. I think I needed that slap in the face. I knew I hadn't lost any significant amount based on the way my clothes were fitting. But part of me just wanted to see if at least there was a pound or two in the difference. I mean, come on, I've been working out like a maniac. Surely that counteracts some of the crap I've been eating.

But NOOOOOO, I've actually gained a pound. And it's more than a bit sobering to realize that 200-300 minutes of cardio and 3 strength sessions a week are just barely maintaining my weight due solely to the fact that I have been shovelling junk in my mouth like it's going out of style.

So, truth known and spoken, here goes an honest effort to rein it back in. Today I ate the meals and snacks I brought to work with me. I avoided buying a snack with my diet pepsi and turned down a bite of chocolate bar from a coworker. My downfall today: scotch mints. They are like an addiction. So I looked at the calories today and realized I can mindlessly eat 120 calories of scotch mints in under an hour. Never mind the sugar I'm inhaling. So my goal for Thursday (next time I work) is 2 mints per hour. This has worked in the past. Here's hoping...

As for my goals:
workouts according to plan. I took 2 days off last week instead of one due to injury
morning fruit - good on workdays, not so good when I'm home
water - high 90% success rate
no eating after 8pm - every day except Saturday when I saw a movie, this trick has actually kept me from eating on more than one occasion
plan marathon training - check, sat down and did this last week and as a result am feeling both calm and panicked about the upcoming month. Calm because I know my training is thorough, doable and sesible. Panicked because I will be running more miles than I have ever run in my life. EEEEK!!!

I like running!!!!

2008-01-05T17:37:00.000-08:00

Never thought I would miss running. But I've been following the Shape plan and there really isn't any continuous running involved in any of the cardio workouts. By Thursday night I was thinking how nice it would feel to go for a good run. So Friday and Saturday I modified the cardio portions to fit in 2 runs. Felt GOOOOOOOOD!! I'm turning into a runner. Never though that would happen.

Doing good on my goals. I struggle with the fruit when I'm at home. It's really going to take a conscious effort to remember it. Yesterday it was bedtime before I realized i hadn't had any. When I'm at work, i get hungry and bored around mid morning. I bring a piece of fruit and so I have a piece of fruit. At home I can get involved in something and the next thing I know it is lunchtime. Afternoon is usually a carby snack and then it's dinner and I haven't had any fruit.
Work in progress.

The water is a lot easier than I thought it would be. I'm still drinking the occasional pepsi but it seems 100 times easier to get 2 liters of water now than it was before Christmas. I'm just going to go with it for now.

Days 1 and 2

2008-01-02T15:54:00.001-08:00

Exercise - check
Water - check
Fruit - check
Eating cutoff - check

So far so good on my goals, even if i did eat way too much chocolate.

January's goals

2008-01-01T07:41:00.000-08:00

Weigh in Jan 1: 185

Follow Shape's meltdown workout plan
No eating after 8pm
64 oz water daily
mid morning fruit snack
Plan marathon training schedule

A GOOD DAY

2007-09-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a good day. I was out of town for a work conference and spent some time worrying about how I was going to resist temptation. Here's how the day went.

Breakfast as home : Kashi with milk.
While waiting for my ride: iced capp (planned on this in advance)
Lunch: half a roll, ceaser salad and lasagna (didn't finish) cheesecake for dessert
Dinner: rib tips with steamed veggies and coleslaw
Snacked on 4 pretzels that I brought from home through the day

So what made this a great day:

1. I planned ahead and brought healthy snacks (pretzels and an apple)
2. I knew I wanted dessert at lunch so I planned accordingly and had only half a roll and not all the lasagna.
3. I really savored and enjoyed the cheesecake
4. I turned down a chocolate chip skor bar cookie at Costco. We were a short time from dinner so I decided to wait. I actually wanted one, but once I said no, I didn't want to take one anyway.
5. Had the ribtips instead of the full ribs and steamed veggies instead of fries.
6. Did not have dessert at dinner
7. Did not snack when I got home.

YAY ME!!!!!! The only thing that would have made it better is if I could get some physical activity in during the day. But it was a lot of driving and sitting.

SELF SABOTAGING

2007-09-17T06:42:00.001-07:00

Every weekend I tell myself that I will not go overboard. That I will not binge. That I will treat my body with the respect it deserves. And every weekend I do all of these things. And every Monday it gets a little bit harder to get back on track.

This self sabotage always seems to occur when I've seen some success. I lose some weight (8 pounds this time) and think I'm on track. I'll just have this little treat. And that turns into a daily little treat. And then I have a big treat. And then this past weekend occurs. Giant bowl of ice cream, half a large bag of ruffles and super size chocolate bar in the span of 4 days. Not to mention the vast amounts of diet soda. And I felt gross and overfull and dehydrated and like I was coming down with a cold again.

I think the worst part is that I consciously made the choices. I said to myself "I know this is going to make me feel worse, not better but I'm going to do it anyway". Why on earth would I do that? And now it's Monday morning and I am trying to get back on track but find my mind thinking about the chocolate bars on the counter. Seriously contemplating them until I catch myself and give a good mental slap to think about something else.

Today will be different.

HOW TO TRICK YOURSELF INTO EXERCISE

2007-09-15T05:28:00.001-07:00

There are many days when I just don't feel like getting my exercise in. It's been a long stressful day full of cranky bosses and clients. It was a long stressful night full of cranky children and spouses. I'm just plain lazy. There are a dozen other things I think I would enjoy doing more.

On these days I tell myself that I only have to do a half workout or that I'll just walk. Yeah, it's an old trick but it works for me. Some days I really only do a half workout. But you know what it's half a workout more than I would have done otherwise. And more times than not, I actually end up doing a little more or a lot more than half a workout.

For example, last Monday was a combination of all 4 reason I wouldn't want to workout. I convinced myself to just go and walk. Then I convinced myself to do two half mile intervals of jogging. But during my second 1/2 mile I got absorbed in a magazine article (yes, I know it's weird that I read while jogging) and my legs and lungs felt really good. Before I even realized I had done 1.5 miles and managed to eke out another .3. And I actually didn't want to work out at all that day.

So, get thee to your exercise option. You never know, it might turn into your best workout in weeks.

OFFICIAL THURSDAY WEIGH IN

2007-09-13T07:22:00.000-07:00

Weighed in this am at 182.2, same as last week. I am moderately happy with that. I was really hoping to get down to 181.x but after the weekend I had, maintaining is a good good thing. Goal for next week 180.

Thanks to Roni for reminding me that Hunger is not an Emergency.

http://weightwatchen.com/2007/09/hunger-is-not-emergency.html

ROUGH WEEKEND

2007-09-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

Those two words pretty much sum it up. Didn't exercise for 3 days. Ate everything I could get my hands on including chocolate bars and too much ice cream. And made the conscious choice to do these things. Knew I would feel gross afterwards and did it anyway. Gained 1.5 pounds. And am back in the thick of things this morning. Have already made it through 0.75 liters of water (it's 10:30 am) and had an apple for a mid morning snack. I would really like the scale to say 181 on Thursday so it's going to be a strict week for me.

OFFICIAL THURSDAY WEIGH IN

2007-09-06T09:18:00.001-07:00

This morning I weighed in at 182.2, down 2 pounds from last week and thrilled. But I think my scale is feeling a little wonky today. I weighed in when I woke up and it told me 183.2. I was happy. Then I ate breakfast and used the bathroom. Weighed before getting in the shower. 180.2 Thrilled but thought no way. Reset the scale (as I almost always do) and it read 182. Did it again. 182.2 Again 182.2. Yeah a little obsessive but I wanted to make sure it would read the same twice. I will do the same tomorrow. Weigh in 5 times, one after the other to see if my scale is dying.

Anywho, all morning, after this great weigh in, I wanted junk food. Had my daily soda and a 100 calorie bar. Didn't work. Had lunch and a couple of pretzels. Didn't work. Had a licorice and KitKat Chunky. And now I don't desire any more junk. Lesson learned. If I had simply had the KitKat in the first place I would have avoided an extra 300 calories in trying to avoid it.

TACKLING STRESS EATING

2007-09-04T17:56:00.001-07:00

On the weekend, I discovered that the 100 calorie bars really satisfy a chocolate craving that won't go away. But my tendency is to go overboard. And today, after lunch, I wanted to get one. Just because. I wasn't hungry. I didn't particularly want chocolate. But I wanted to get one because I felt I could. Because the scale was down this morning to 183.2. Because my jeans fit me straight from the dryer. But I held off, telling myself I would get one at 3.

Then I read an email from an online friend who had the same start weight as me who weighed in at 182.5 and I wanted that. BAD. So I didn't. YAY ME!!!

But I am having a bad day. A sad day. A down day. A stressed day. A day that normally would have me heading straight to the ice cream and lots of it. But I went to the gym. I picked up some groceries without picking up chocolate. DH went for a walk and although I asked him to bring home diet soda, I did not ask him to bring home chocolate. He did for himself and I had a bite. And that was enough.

So I consider this a win for me vs stress eating. But man was hard.

LISTENING TO MY BODY

2007-09-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

Two days of wanting to do nothing but eat and two days of letting myself indulge in some not so healthy snacks. Two days of maintaining my loss. Obviously my body knew it needed some extra calories for whatever reason. Today I am back on track in order to meet my goal for next Thursday.

OFFICIAL THURSDAY WEIGH IN

2007-09-01T06:34:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know it's Saturday but it's been a hectic week and I couldn't get around to posting on Thursday. I did weigh in on Thursday. Twice in fact. When I woke up I weighed in at 185.2 and after I went for a walk and at breakfast I weighed in at 184.2. Either way I met my goal and have set my goal at 182.5 for next Thursday.

I have this weird thing that happens to me when I meet a weight loss goal. I get hungry and cravings. This time was no different. All day Thursday I wanted to eat. Managed to keep it in check. But on Friday it was still there, so I planned on having pizza (thin crust at home) and ice cream Friday night. Kept my calories down during the day by thinking about my "treat". And a weird thing happened. Even though I had 2 slices and half a pint of ice cream, I wasn't stuffed. Just pleasantly satisfied. Normally the pizza alone would have had me stuffed.

And pleasantly this morning I weighed in at 184.2. Back to regular eating habits starting this morning.

SMALL THINGS...

2007-08-29T15:20:00.000-07:00

... really can keep you on the wagon. Yep, the weight is falling off. A little more every morning I step on the scale. But also, I tightened my belt a notch. My rings are loose. My collarbones are a little more visible. I ran a comfortable 2 miles today for the first time in a long time. I am less tired. And probably a dozen other things I can't think of right now.

These are the things I can think about and see throughout the day when I am tempted by something. I'm really feeling great about this. It feels permanent.

FOOD AND CHILDREN

2007-08-28T15:32:00.000-07:00

I have some major fears about passing along my food issues to my daughter. I don't want her to grow up believing that you eat to celebrate, that you eat to medicate or that you eat for entertainment. I truly believe that the most effective way to do this is to model appropriate eating habits for her. Above all else, this is the reason I want to change my lifestyle. And I think I am doing a good job thus far.

She is not forced to "clean her plate". Food is not used as a reward. Meals are laidback, but taken as a family. We offer her a variety of different foods and she chooses how much and what she eats from those choices. From what I can see, children are hard wired to make healthy choices, when those choices are available to them. Her favorite foods: grapes, yogurt, and bread. Bread?, you say. Yes, the right breads are healthy and positive choices. We DO NOT give her white bread. She started on whole wheat and this week is eating Flax bread. She loves it. Which brings me to my next point.

Children are much more adventurous with food than we are led to believe. DD will try pretty much anything we offer her. She definitely has her preferences and there have been foods that she took one bite of and said no more. But she is always willing to try and I am always willing to let her.

Don't get me wrong. She has "treats". Wendy's frosties are a favorite with her. She love crackers and ice cream. But these are treats. We don't use them as rewards for eating her veggies. She eats her veggies because she is hungry and they taste good to her. Treats are for no reason other than we feel like offering. Sometimes she gobbles them up. Other times she takes a bite and then returns to her grapes. What could be healthier than listening to your body?

FRUIT=SWEET

2007-08-27T08:56:00.001-07:00

I can remember a time that this statement was true for me. Before I could devour a liter of ice cream without feeling sick to my stomach. Before I required 3 family sized chocolate bars to satisfy my sweet tooth. It was only a little more than 2 years ago that I frequently craved fruit. In fact, throughout the first trimester of my pregnancy, it was the only food guaranteed not to make me feel horrible. Then refined sugar slowly began taking hold of my diet. The more refined sugar I ate, the less sweet fruit tasted to me. Until I got to a point where if I ate 2 pieces of fruit in a week, I was doing well.

I truly missed the sweet juicy flavor of different fruits when I wasn't eating them. I just didn't seem to enjoy them as much with refined sugar making my palate cloudy. The longer I go without refined sugar snacks, the sweeter fruit tastes. Now I can see the possibility of fruit once again playing a large role in my diet. And I look forward to it.

WEEKEND AWAY

2007-08-26T16:56:00.000-07:00

I spent the past weekend with my inlaws out of town for a wedding. I felt pretty confident about my ability to keep my eating in check. I was pretty good. I may not have made all the best choices but I definitely made better choices. For example, at the dinner I had dessert and cake but didn't touch the potatoes or dark meat. At the rehearsal dinner, I had a BBQd chicken breast and two small servings of salad (potato and broccoli) and then indulged in sweets for dessert. I took an hour long walk on Friday morning but had beer at the dance. Overall i was happy with my choices for the weekend so I was a little disappointed to find the scale back to my starting weight.

I'm not letting myself give up. I'm back on track today with healthy eating choices and went to the gym before anything else this morning. I want to be below my weigh-in weight from last Thursday by this Thursday.

OFFICIAL THURSDAY WEIGH IN

2007-08-23T04:42:00.000-07:00

I am an everyday weigher. Actually I am a several times a day weigher. But I always choose one day a week as my "Official" day. Since I have joined the naked dieters over at Clubmom and was originally inspired to do this by the amazing shrinking mom (see post below) I will use their/her weigh in day of Thursday.

This morning I weighed in at 187.4. Down 3.2 pounds from Saturday. Woohoo. I am excited but reserved. Several times over the last couple of months I was down to 187 and never seemed to fall below this. But I am staying the course and feeling somewhat confident that this could be the time it sticks.

ON TRACK???

2007-08-22T09:18:00.000-07:00

I have had a mixture of feelings toward this venture over the last 24 hours. Last night my mother and I went for a walk after dinner (keeping up with my daily exercise) and she had planned on getting us ice cream. I told her no thanks without even pausing but that she was more than willing to have one herself. It really was a no brainer for me. Like I told her, having ice cream now is not worth growing out of my jeans. When I got home I had my "treat" of sugar free pudding doled out in a small dish so I could control my serving size.

This morning I weighed myself and the scale has not moved in a few days. So I found myself thinking those old thoughts of "Why bother?". Then the sensible me slapped me around a few times until I remembered that it has only been 4 days and I've lost 3 pounds. DUH!! An hour later, I'm sure my jeans were not quite as snug when I pulled them on.

Tomorrow I head out of town for 3 days for a wedding. I am planning on bringing along some healthy snacks to keep in the cottage. Going to eat what I can at the dinner and indulge in 1 slice of wedding cake OR dessert. Depends on what the dessert is LOL. SIL will be staying with us and she is working at losing weight as well. I plan on recruiting her for some exercise Friday morning and possibly Saturday morning as well.

WHY I HATE BMI...

2007-08-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

Two years ago I weighed between 157 and 160 pounds. I wore a size 10-12. I was eating healthy (avg 1500 cals per day) and exercising regularly. I was satisfied with my weight and body. I truly believe if I had lost any more weight, I would have started to look sick. According to BMI, I was severely overweight. According to BMI I should weigh in at 130 (for a high weight). I don't think I have weighed 130 since I was in the 6th grade, before I developed womanly curves. And I don't think it is even possible for me to reach this weight without starving myself.

That is why I hate BMI.

DAY 3

2007-08-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

Today is day 3 of being sugar free. It's both harder and easier than I thought it would be.

For the last couple of months I have been trying to cut back slowly, still allowing myself treats "in moderation" HA!! What a joke. So I thought for sure that cutting it out all at once would be so hard. But it hasn't. I'm hungry all the time but also seem to be eating all the time. When I'm hungry I eat but make sure to choose a low GI food. At the same time I'm not having a lot of cravings.

I believe it has to do with mindset. When I was allowed having some, I would have one or a little and then next thing you know I wanted more and more and more. Now I just think "Nope, I'm not eating that anymore". No point in even being tempted.

I will admit that I had a headache all day yesterday and have one (although less severe) today. Even that doesn't really bother me or push me off course. I was eating an insane amount of sugar and I know when my body adjusts the headaches will disappear. Same thing when I cut caffeine out or when I did the low-carb thing.

For those interested here is what I ate yesterday:

1 cup Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal
1/2 cup skim milk
1 cup sugar free pudding
canteloupe
2 scrambled eggs
1 apple
1 cup whole wheat pasta
1 cup broccoli cooked in diced tomatos
1 cup sugar free pudding
a bunch of Triscuits (every time I was hungry I grabbed a couple)

As of this morning I was down 3 pounds. And thrilled. And motivated to continue this new lifestyle. I even purchased one of the books "Living the GI Diet" yesterday and can't wait to try out some of the recipes.

How about you? What are your goals, inspirations, struggles?

The Universe Conspires Against Me

2007-08-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

Well probably not. But today it really felt that way. I woke up raring to go for the first day of my new lifestyle. I had a plan for meals and snacks. And today would be the start of my exercise streak.

I had my kashi for breakfast and a handful of almonds. Just before leaving for work, my father showed up with muffins and capucino. But I just headed off with my water. A sales rep came into work bearing....yep, muffins again. LOL. The rain stopped at lunch so my plans for the gym were pushed aside to spend the afternoon with DH and DD. I would walk after dinner. Around 4:30 it began to rain again. UGH. But out I went and walked for 45 minutes. Arrived home wet but satisfied.

I feel good that I faced the easy way out over and over today but chose the healthier way.

THINGS I HATE AND THE TRUTH IN NUMBERS

2007-08-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

*****topics shamelessly stolen from Mel over at http://shrinkingmom.clubmom.com*******

Ten things I hate about being fat:

1. Sweating
2. Back pain
3. Clothes shopping
4. Lack of sex drive
5. Sweating
6. Having nothing to wear to special events
7. Never feeling satisfied after eating
8. Sweating
9. muffin top
10. Swimsuits

So I've joined the diet naked team over at Club Mom. The whole theory behind this is to let everyone know about the changes you are making in your life. That way there is someone going to notice if you fall off the wagon. For me, the blog is part of this. But I've also told my husband about my plan. I will tell my mother about my plan when I see her on Tuesday. And I've added this blog address to my signature on all the chat boards I frequent. Another important part of dieting naked is getting the truth out there. So here is my truth in numbers.

Current weight : 190.6
Highest weight (when pregnant): 204
Highest weight (not pregnant): 191
Goal weigh: 160

I bought "Living the GI Diet" today and haven't had any sugar or white flour today. My one exception food will be Saturday night pizza. Every Saturday night we have a frozen pizza. Tonight's edition is whole wheat thin crust chicken, spinach and something else by Delissio.

2007-08-16T10:38:00.000-07:00

So I'm fairly new to the whole blogging thing. And I'm even newer to the idea of actually following blogs. But through my scrapbooking I've discovered numerous blogs that I enjoy reading even when they are totally unrelated to scrapbooking (comes from my curious nature). And then I discovered bloglines. A way to check all your blogs through one site, thereby eliminating the need for a favorites bar. So I added all my regulars and then hunted throught their most popular blogs and signed up for a few of those. One of the blogs I read regularly and truly enjoy is Actual Unretouched Photo. She mentioned in a post today that she also has a weight loss blog. I checked it out. And proceeded to begin reading from post one, writtin in April 2006. Yep, 2006. I am now nearly at October 2006.

This post inspired me to post.

http://shrinkingmom.clubmom.com/amazing_shrinking_mom/2006/09/true_confession.html

While all her posts really hit home with me, this one seemed to stand out more than others. Perhaps because I find myself falling into old habits. All morning I tried to find a way to justify "cheating". I could come up with a dozen different reasons. But I didn't until after lunch. On the way back to work I popped into the cornerstore and picked up a KitKat Chunky Max. My favorite. And then proceeded to justify having another later in the afternoon. DUH!!!! That is how I got here in the first place. Thank you amazing shrinking woman for reminding me of this in one of your many wonderful posts. When I got to this post, I started wondering "Why do I self-sabotage?" For there is no other way to describe it. Noone else buys me junk or pressures me to eat junk. Every time I eat chocolate or chips or ice cream or a burger, it is 100% my decision. I want to make the hop. I am ready to make the hop. I need to make the hop.

This morning I was ready to blog about my frustration. After all, I am not looking for major pounds lost. I am making small changes, I am looking for small losses. But I am getting nothing. But if I really sit and look at things, I am not really making changes that impact anything. I am just shifting things around. Time to stop shifting and make the hop.

OFF AND ON THE WAGON

2007-08-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

After doing so well it's a little disappointing to admit to the world that I not only fell off the wagon, I dove off the wagon. Monday night was a rough one. DD was up from 3 to 5 which meant I was up from 3 to 5. Which meant that I was exhausted heading to work in the morning. I NEEDED a caffeine boost so I had a diet pepsi. Which I was totally okay with. Once in a while is not the end of the world. But yesterday was a prime example of the fact that I am not ready to only do once in a while. After a rough bedtime routine with DD I ran to the grocery store for some necessities and caved to a chocolate bar and soda.

Woke up resolved to be back on track. I couldn't believe how strong the soda cravings were after just 2. But I held strong and stayed away. The office chocolate bars apparently have a stronger hold over me. I had 2. UGH! I am facing my errors and starting fresh now. Not tomorrow or Monday or the start of the month. Now, at 3:42 pm. I resolve to only have one slice of pizza at dinner and to hit the gym tonight for my Wednesday workout.

This has got to get easier, right?

WORK TEMPTATION

2007-08-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

So late last week I decided that the no soda thing was going so well that I would add another challenge. No more store bought treats. No stopping at the corner store on the way back from lunch and picking up a jumbo size chocolate bar. No running across the street to the pharmacy on my afternoon break to buy a bag of chips and no running to the grocery store after dinner for some ice cream. Really, really hard. A habit that I truly enjoy. I just do not enjoy the results of this habit. So to continue with my journey of making positive changes in my life, I decided to cut it out altogether. At least until I can get it under control and not NEED to do it everyday. Was doing good and feeling good. Worked through a couple of tough days. Bad news type days. Not devastating, mind you. Just bad enough that my thoughts immediately went to buying a treat. But I didn't. And what happens today at work? One of those guys with the boxes of chocolate bars that sit on counters. That's what happened!! And to top it off, the box holds not only 1 but 2 of my absolute favorite chocolate choices. Argh!!! I guess if I can hold out against that I'll be rockin.

Help. me. please.

GOALS

2007-08-07T16:59:00.001-07:00

It appears that the majority of goals I have been verbalizing have focused on actions which is really great. But it also implies that I am not thinking of weight loss which couldn't be farther from the truth. So I've decided to lay out my short term goals. I'll admit some of my goals seem to be pretty weird.

1. Lose 5 pounds
2. Be able to put on my jeans comfortably fresh from the wash
3. Be able to wear a couple of summer skirts and shorts that fit me last summer.

So there. It's in writing. No backing out now.

I WANT TO BE A DOER!!!!

2007-08-06T12:24:00.000-07:00

I've always been of the opinion that if you are not going to do anything about it, don't complain about it. So I've worked very hard to not obsess out loud about my weight. Along with this, I've always believed that if you want something, you don't just talk about it, you do something about it. But for some time now I've been a talker instead of a doer.

You see, I've always dreamed of running a marathon and becoming an Ironman. Lofty goals for someone who always hated being active as a kid and to be honest most of her adulthood. But at one time I was working towards those goals. I trained with the triathlon club in University, completed a sprint triathlon and a biathlon. Money got tight and I quit the club and my workouts.

After I delivered Ella last year I decided to give running another shot. I found the Couch to 5K program on cool running and started it right after my wedding (8 weeks postpartum). By the end of the summer I was running 5K three times a week and enjoying it. In October I ran the Race for the Cure. And I enjoyed it. Me, who even when training with the triathlon club hated the running workouts, was enjoying running. I even committed to running a marathon with my sister. I don't know what happened then. Winter, we moved, I got lazy. Who knows but i fell out of my running workouts and when I tried to get back into them it was hard and not really fun anymore.

Yesterday I watched ms Fitness and coverage of the Hawaii Ironman and I realized that finishing a marathon and becoming an Ironman are still dreams I have. And they are still dreams that I can attain. I don't want to wait until disease threatens my mobility or age makes it increasingly unlikely for me to reach them. I want to start now. So I went back to coolrunning.com and picked the week of training that fit where I am now. Today I started training again. In October, I will run the Race for the Cure again. And in October 2008 I will run the Charlottetown marathon. Well, I might walk a lot of it. But I will cross the finish line as a marathoner.

INSIDIOUS IMPACT

2007-08-05T17:39:00.001-07:00

It never ceases to amaze me how deep the impact of being dissatisfied with your body goes. I have been unhappy with my weight for at least 6 months now. I have also been unhappy with mos everything else in my life. I've been feeling like I'm in a rut and will never get out of it.

I have my apartment. I have no desire to be intimate with my husband (why would he want to anyway). Little things get under my skin. But what really brought it home to me was that I have a potential career opportunity coming up. It is everything I have worked towards for the last 3 years. But I cannot get excited for it because it means buying a whole new wardrobe. I dread spending hours in dressing rooms trying to find something that fits and flatters. That my feelings toward my body could turn something so positive into something negative was a real eyeopener to me.

On a positive note, I am still Pepsi free. I fell out of the 12 - 5 restriction on snacking but stuck to not eating after 8. For next week, I want to get some more exercise in.

Disappointing results

2007-08-02T16:17:00.000-07:00

Day 3 of my small goals is over and successful. YAY ME!!!!!! So I'm making positive choices and hoping for some small glimmer of a result. Instead the scale goes up 3 pounds. ARGH!!!! While I know the reason is that I was dehydrated and now that I'm drinking lots of water I'm hydrated again, it's still frustrating as all get out.

I'm refusing to get discouraged. Staying strong and thinking towards what other goals I might be setting.

DAY 2

2007-08-01T16:53:00.000-07:00

Today was day 2 of no soda and my snacking restriction. The headache was gone but the cravings were full force and way worse than yesterday. The snacking wasn't bad. More about resisting habit than anything.

I added a new goal. No eating at all after 8pm. I'm rarely hungry but always seem to be eating out of boredom. Hopefully small changes will add up.

2007-07-31T15:41:00.000-07:00

I wish I could say this was the first time I've ventured down the weight loss highway. Alas, I have travelled this road numerous times in my 29 years of life. In fact, just 3 years ago I was in the middle of a successful trip where I lost 34 pounds. I reached a happy weight, was working out like a fiend and loving it and was really and truly happy with my body. I was engaged to a man I loved, going back to school to pursue a career i was passionate about. Things were looking up.

Then I got pregnant. Not planned but a happy event in our lives. I had full intentions of eating well and exercising throughout my pregnancy. About a week later, I had some spotting during a workout. Doctor said it was probably nothing but I should take it easy and lay off the exercise for a while. I interpreted a while to mean 12 weeks.

Eating well takes on a new meaning when even watching your fiance eat a chocolate bar made your stomach turn. There was very little I found appetizing. So what i craved, i ate. As that was very little I only gained 5 pounds in the first 3 months. Well on track. Then the naseau left and I ate everything in sight and did not pick back up on my workouts. Gained 12 pounds in a month!!!!!!!! Even though I reigned things in after that and started to walk, I still gained 47 pounds by the end of my pregnancy.

I discovered that getting married 8 weeks and 2 days after giving birth is one hell of a motivation to lose the weight. When I walked down the aisle I was within 5 pounds of my prepregnancy weight and everyone told me that I did not look like a woman with a newborn. Immediately after the wedding I started the Couch 2 5K program and ran the race for the cure in October (4 months later).

I look back and wonder what happened. I never really got back to eating healthy. Most of my weight loss was due to nursing and running. So when winter hit and running happened less and less but the ice cream and chocolate continued to be eaten the pounds started creeping back on. By Jan 1 I was up 15 pounds. By Easter is was 25. And now it's almost August and I'm lost. I've started exercising again but it's just keeping things in check. It's the eating that is doing me in, whether I like it or not.

So today, I'm starting fresh and I'm starting small.

1. Cutting out soda - this is so freakin hard you would not believe it. The caffeine withdrawal headache kicked in around 1 pm and I'm holding back a lot of cursing and talking down to people because I know the irritability is not their fault.

2. No junk food before noon or after 5. I'd gotten into the habit of stopping at the gas station on the way to work for a pepsi and chocolate bar. And evenings are when my husband and I enable each other with all manners of junk food.

Today I made it through both of these. Not easy at all. Hard as hell, actually. But I made it and it feels good.

Automatic Eater...

2007-07-30T17:09:00.000-07:00

That's me. I eat. I eat when I'm hungry. I eat when I'm not hungry. I eat when I'm sad, angry, happy, stressed, tired, bored. I eat without thinking. I eat automatically. I don't know how to stop eating.

I've tried it all and some of it worked for a while. Some of it didn't. I have no idea what I expect from doing this. And i have no idea how long I will continue to do this. Couple of days, couple of weeks, couple of months. It will most likely be filled with completely random blathering (word borrowed from Cathy Z) about anything and everything. I hope I can help somebody, but mostly I hope I can help myself.