It never ceases to amaze me how deep the impact of being dissatisfied with your body goes. I have been unhappy with my weight for at least 6 months now. I have also been unhappy with mos everything else in my life. I've been feeling like I'm in a rut and will never get out of it.
I have my apartment. I have no desire to be intimate with my husband (why would he want to anyway). Little things get under my skin. But what really brought it home to me was that I have a potential career opportunity coming up. It is everything I have worked towards for the last 3 years. But I cannot get excited for it because it means buying a whole new wardrobe. I dread spending hours in dressing rooms trying to find something that fits and flatters. That my feelings toward my body could turn something so positive into something negative was a real eyeopener to me.
On a positive note, I am still Pepsi free. I fell out of the 12 - 5 restriction on snacking but stuck to not eating after 8. For next week, I want to get some more exercise in.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
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